Ugly cafe workers: The no-man's land of psuedo-dating exes

We've all done it. Made that late night call, texted a "what's up" or "how's it going" on the sly when we're feeling bored and lonely. In my case, those fateful messages have ended up going to the inbox of one of my exes. 

However, I made the Numero Uno mistake: EXPECTATIONS. As Darcy explained, these are the death of any psuedo-dating relationship. Once one of the parties involved starts to create these, there is no hope, absolutely none. 

I get this, I know. But with exes, expectations are almost built into the equation; you can't factor them out. You have accumulated so much time with that person, it is near impossible to see them without these. A kiss is not just a kiss, it's the end result of years of dating (even if you are broken up). A kiss is how the relationship started in the beginning --> more --> dating --> more --> relationship status.

But the moral of the story is that you are most likely better off never texting that ex in the first place. What good is it worth? Is one night of a body next to you in bed worth the emotional/mental/physical turmoil it may bring out from hiding? I think not. Trust me. Or else you too will see your ex dating an ugly girl from the coffee shop you frequent EVERY DAY, and it will fill you with rage. At him, at the ugly girl, and at the thought you can't get coffee for who in god's name knows how long.